Here I am-day 10 of house isolation. I've baked bread, cookies, cookie bars not to mention full dinners for my hungry brood. I have also been on social media...a lot. Way more than the norm, my digital detox on short hiatus and my resolve nearing empty. I wrote in my last post, that I was feeling very unmotivated and anxious given the state of events; truthfully, I was cau
tiously okay being present with those feelings. I authentically accepted that those feelings were normal and understandable and at some point the needle would shift and I would eventually feel better.
Enter social media.
Now, I realize that social media platforms are a gift during this pandemic. If we had a pandemic when I was a kid, it would have been a whole different ball game. Seriously.
Nevertheless, I find that with all the free home lessons, workouts, live recipes, and glimpses into the minutiae of everyone's life available 24/7, I'm feeling even more anxious, competitive, guilty- not to mention stymied. Here are some of the statements I am hearing online.
1. "There's no excuse not to workout."
2. "You can get a great sweat on from the privacy of your own home."
3. "The produce aisle at the store is teeming with produce."
4. "Toilet paper is important but so is healthy eating."
5. "Don't let the pandemic make you pudgy."
6."Think how you will feel when this is all over and you gained all that weight."
And the list goes on and on and on.
I resent those who are clueless or take advantage just as I appreciate the do-gooders. Those who suspend their online fees or provide free home workouts so we can stay healthy or the live recipes (some of which I would like to provide myself) etc... BUT they wear on me. I feel insecure if I don't want to do them, like I am not taking advantage of all that is out there to keep myself in tip top form. There's guilt, along with the "no excuse" motif that grinds my gears. It's the fact that we can't give ourselves just a wee bit of grace to let ourselves find our own way without those telling us to do so.
I know I sound petty, but the other day, I just wasn't feeling great. I had every intention of going down to the basement to do a home workout but not because I wanted too, rather, I felt guilty. Thinking about all those who are sick, or the dedicated frontline workers who only wished they had time for a personal workout let alone time. In thinking about it, I decided to give myself some grace, to use the time for sleep, or read-all important to our self preservation during this crazy time. Taking care of our health isn't about getting a crazy,sweaty workout in or drinking kale juice, it's about grace. A 20 minute walk, a crossword puzzle, stupid reality TV (Love is Blind falls into that category), eating a piece of fruit, baking cookies, or even meditating for 5 minutes. It doesn't have to be all in all the time.
So, give yourself some grace and find your way- I promise I won't judge.